


With Eyes Open

by HouseAu3



Series: What You Can Live With [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-05
Updated: 2016-02-05
Packaged: 2018-05-18 08:41:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5915860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouseAu3/pseuds/HouseAu3
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened from the time Len lost conscious to the time he woke up</p>
            </blockquote>





	With Eyes Open

When Lisa’s fist connected with his face, all he could think was “thank you.”

“You put him in the metahuman wing!” She pulled him closer by his collars. “He shouldn’t have been there.”

Barry didn’t say that Len wanted to stay. He didn’t say that Len considered the metahuman wing safer. He didn’t say anything but a whispered “sorry.” He could remember so very clearly the moment Len’s arm was shattered. The fracture spread like vines crawling along walls. Then the frozen limb exploded into shards of ice. It was slow, so slow Barry could have gathered every broken piece and put them back together. Len didn’t scream. He only stared at where his right hand had been.

Barry screamed, and it felt like Bivolo all over again.

“I’m sorry,” he said. Lisa dropped him and turned away, staring at the door to the surgery room, her jaw clenched. He knew that she was strong, had seen how strong she could be, but she looked awfully brittle at this moment. He had seen the same look before, when Len was pointing a gun at him, when he let Barry take the cold gun, and when he looked up at Barry with pain so raw Barry barely stopped himself from offering to help him get away.

Silence fell. Or it should be silent, but everything was so much louder in their quietness. The light hummed. The clock ticked. Footsteps. Coughing. Lisa’s breathing. Barry’s heart. He hated this suffocating silence filled with overwhelming mundane noises. He hated how the world never changed even when his was, or could be.

Cisco showed up hours after, finally finishing helping CCPD transport the metas Barry subdued. He brought take-out from Big Belly Burger and the three of them ate in near silence. Lisa, at least, seemed less agitated with Cisco here. Barry smiled a little when Lisa knocked her knee against Cisco’s. Trust and affection were not something the Snarts gave freely.

Cisco was telling Lisa about his brother Dante - Barry was more than a little surprised. They both seemed so calm about it - when the door opened. Lisa sprang to her feet. The doctor threw a brief glance at him and Cisco before explaining that Len was remarkably resilient for his age and would likely recover in a week or two. Lisa’s shoulders sagged slightly in relief, and she smiled when Cisco bumped their shoulders together.

Barry stared at Len as he was being pushed into the ICU. He somehow looked even more closed-off when he was unconscious, as if he was bracing for harm, or had a lifelong practice in doing so. Barry didn’t follow them in, wasn’t allowed to follow them in, because in the end, what was he to Leonard Snart? Nemesis, partner, enemy, acquaintance. On paper, they were nothing. In reality, they were everything and nothing all at once.

“Take care of her,” Barry said. “There’s something I have to do.”

“Of course, man,” Cisco said. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

Barry walked out of the hospital and flashed from an alleyway to the DA’s office. At the entrance he heard a woman arguing with Joe. She sounded familiar, not someone Barry knew well, but he had heard her voice before.

“You can’t just put people without power there because he knows some metas - ”

“He’s broken out of prison more time than we bother to count. We know he’s connected to Mark Mardon and many other - ”

“And where is your evidence? Even if you can prove it, you can’t punish him for knowing people. He apparently also knows the Flash, and is more than a little friendly with him. By your logic, should he be awarded for it?”

“What are you talking - ”

“Joe,” Barry called out. Joe startled and turned to him. “Can you leave us alone for a minute? I need to talk to her.”

“Barry - ”

“Please.”

Joe stared at him, eyebrows drawn into a frown, but left after a sigh. Barry turned to the woman. He remembered her from Iron Heights. The warden who had let him - let the Flash - into Len’s cell.

“I’m Barry Allen, CSI of CCPD,” Barry said. “I'm the one who requested to have Snart transferred.”

She looked pissed. Good. “Why did you?”

“I was angry that he kept getting away for his crimes.” Barry shrugged. It was truthful enough that he didn’t feel bad for saying it. “His father’s murder is probably the only chance to put him away for good. He won’t get caught again.”

“He didn’t even try to defend himself in court. I asked around. Lewis Snart had been abusing him and his sister for years. This case is not as clear-cut as it appears to be.”

People like her, Barry thought, was why he could never truly lose his faith in the justice system. He couldn’t help but smile at her. “I agree.”

“You - ” She blinked at him. “You agree?”

Barry nodded. “I’d like to make amends to him. Would you help?”

She stared at him, and must have seen something that satisfied her. “That’s why I’m here.”

Saying Joe was pissed when he heard what Barry had done was an understatement. Taking the blame as Barry Allen, risking his reputation as the Flash, all for a criminal who had betrayed him. It sounded crazy when Joe put it like that, but it made sense to Barry. It was the right thing to do, the only option he had, the only decision he could live with.

For the first time, Leonard Snart walking free felt like a victory.

He didn’t say any of these to Lisa or Cisco when he got back to the hospital, but they found out anyway. With Cisco there it was hardly a surprise. Lisa gave Cisco a look and Cisco not so subtly excused himself.

“Sit.” Lisa patted the seat next to her. Once Barry sat down she asked without ceremony, “What is my brother to you?”

Barry was silent for a few seconds. “Len.”

Lisa raised an eyebrow at him. Barry shrugged. He knew it wasn’t much of an answer, but that was the best way he could put it. Leonard Snart who lied and betrayed Barry, Captain Cold who made bad puns and robbed people, the elusive Lenny who would do anything and had done everything for his sister. Maybe he hadn’t see the real Len yet, maybe he had seen every one of them. Either way Barry had come to care for the man, and he was done denying it.

“I see,” she said. Barry had no idea what she saw, but whatever it was, it made her face soften into a half-smile. “You know, he never keeps anything from me, but he did keep your identity a secret.” She paused. “Not that it matters much. You people aren’t exactly discreet. The whole world should have known your secret by now.”

Barry snorted. “You’d be surprised.”

“You really should do something to your mask. It isn’t masking anything but your eyebrows.”

“You’ll have to convince Cisco. It’s his design.”

“Oh, I’m sure I can convince him alright,” she said with a grin.

Barry smiled wryly. “What is my friend to you?”

She chuckled. “Point taken.”

Cisco came back with a pack of ultra-high calorie granola bars and Catlin in tow. His friends had developed a six-sense for when Barry would be hungry, and Barry was forever grateful for ever knowing them. Catlin greeted Lisa before making a beeline for Barry. Barry assured her that he was fine. He was healing.

“But not your left eye.”

“Not yet.”

She worried her lip and bent his head down so that she could check his eye. It had stopped hurting hours ago, but he still couldn’t see from that one eye. His sense of distance was therefore a little fucked, but he got used to it pretty quickly.

“It is healing well. It should be fine in a day or two.”

“Thanks, Caitlin,” Barry said with a smile. “You should get some rest. It’s late.”

“I’ll check up on you tomorrow. If any of you needs anything - ” She turned her gaze to Lisa. “ -  _ any of you _ , just give me a call.”

“Thank you,” Lisa said when Caitlin had half-turned her back. Caitlin gave her a smile that was a little tight, but nonetheless genuine.

“We can’t all be doctors. That’s why you have me.”

Barry loved his friends so very, very much.

*

At four in the morning Barry had a very early breakfast with Iris to keep her up to date. She was reasonably upset that Barry didn’t talk to anyone before doing something reckless, but she understood that Barry had made up his mind and wouldn’t be swayed otherwise. He still loved her, he thought. Not as a sibling, but no longer in a romantic sense, either. He only wanted her to be happy, and he still felt the weight of Eddie’s death every day.

What he wouldn’t give to have Eddie back, not just for Iris, but for Joe, too. For CCPD. For Central City. For Barry himself.

The worst thing was, he could. There were so many times, when he was running a little too fast, when the day was a little too much for him to handle, when he had a little too much time to dwell on how many mistakes he had made… he almost went back. There were so many ways Eddie and Ronnie could have survived. The singularity could have been avoided. There wouldn’t have been a portal between the different earths and Zoom wouldn’t have come. Len wouldn’t have lost his arm. Countless deaths wouldn’t have happened. (And he wouldn’t have killed Atom Smasher and Sand Demon - no, they were Albert Rothstein and Eddie Slick. They were people. He killed people.)

_ There wasn’t a point where we decided to be bad people, Barry.  _ He could hear Len’s voice in his head, calm and reserved, but more honest than he had ever heard him be.  _ There were only moments we thought we didn’t have a choice. _

What did what Barry had done say about him, then?

Barry laughed mirthlessly. He really was a hypocrite.

He met Cisco and Lisa on the hallway outside Len’s room. They were off to Jitters for some food. Iris agreed to let them in and made something for them. Barry was suddenly nervous to stay with Len on his own. What were they now? What did that - last night, the last few weeks, the time they had known each other - mean?

He forced himself to move. He had done what he could. He had made decisions a lot of people would hate him for. He had chosen Len, whatever that meant, whatever that would entail.

He made his way to the door, watching Len’s prone figure. Then Len stirred. Barry’s breath hitched and he stared as blue eyes fluttered open. He took a step forward.

“Morning.”

**Author's Note:**

> This got a bit longer and more serious than I expected, so I ended it at a point I think is more natural. Len's prosthetic and where he and Barry's relationship goes will have to wait a bit longer. I'm not sure when I'd be able to write them. My life's a little crazy right now. I do want to write those parts of the story though. Hopefully in the not so distant future.


End file.
